One of the most liberating feelings is when you are able to let go of others expectations and thoughts about you and truly just be you. It can be so hard in a world full of social media; while social media does have its perks of course, there are also clear drawbacks. We can be found constantly comparing ourselves to others and at the end of the day how productive is this? I think it’s time to stop caring so much about what others think and rather focus that attention on what we think of ourselves. Easier said than done – believe me I’m constantly a work in progress; but the more we practice letting go of other’s expectations and thoughts about us the more we are able to focus our attention on things that actually matter.
So what are the things that actually matter? Serving others and serving oneself are the main concerns in which are necessary to put our attention on. When I say serving one self I don’t mean trying to make yourself look better or act better to get more praise or attention; instead I mean giving all that praise and attention to yourself from yourself. This is practicing true self-love and enables you to be able to freely give to others without any hidden motives or agendas. At the end of the day you want to be surrounded by people that love you for you and if that’s not good enough for others – so be it. It is crucial you love you for you so you don’t feel as though it is a need to find the love from outside sources. Validation from others is just icing on the cake; however you are in charge of the way you view yourself no matter how anyone externally views you.
So how do you let go of what others think of you? Aside from loving oneself and others, understanding your emotions and what’s going on within oneself is key. Because distorted thoughts and believes are so unpleasant to experience in reality and because they invite us to feel fear and believe that the distorted thoughts might be true, we as humans use strategies to control and deny the distorted thoughts and false believes from our emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical sight – to defend ourselves against pain, sorrow, hurt, fear and anything else that would cause us emotional, physical, or spiritual discomfort. We become masterful at denying ourselves the gifts of connection because we are afraid to experience reality and all emotions that connect with reality and truth.
Truth about emotion:
- Your thoughts create your emotions. Your emotions our outcomes of your perceptions (distorted or truthful perceptions)
- Whether your thoughts are in truth or distortion, you’ll feel corresponding emotions. Your emotions are not indicators of the truth, because remember – your thoughts are what create your emotions.
- If you choose to avoid uncomfortable/painful emotions (be in distortion), you will be unable to find the truth.
Rather, choose to focus on clarifying what the truth is (thinking truthful thoughts), and you will experience the appropriate emotions (painful or pleasurable) to teach you and raise your awareness.
Every time you see yourself comparing or wondering what others are thinking of you – take time to reflect what you think about you. Is that enough? If not start practicing self love and day by day it will get easier to not even pay attention to what others may think of you. For more information regarding how to practice this daily self love – visit the validation tab. And always remember you have infinite worth no matter what you’ve done or who thinks what of you.